Late last night around midnight I came to a HUGE realization as I was preparing to get up at 6:00am for my 14 mile long run before class--Why am I doing this?

All week I had been stressing over when I was going to get my long run in for the week--and to make matters more stressful, the weather forecast after tomorrow has been saying nothing but rain for over a week. I had been really feeling the pressure to get up, run for 2 hours, and get to class on time--but for what?

Lately I have caught myself saying that if don't get my miles in that I'm letting myself down, that I'm being a quitter and that I'm already weeks behind in training because of my injury so I can't lose anymore mileage. I have been putting so much pressure on myself to run a marathon this year, especially since I ran 2 half-marathons last year--but why? I had been convincing myself that it was something I really wanted to do, but in reality it isn't--not right now in my life anyway.

I felt like it was expected of me to run a full marathon after conquering the half and that if I didn't--was I really a runner?

Yes. I. Am.

I had a realization this evening that running was becoming more of a chore than something I enjoy doing. I LOVE running. I love the freedom in just mindlessly running forward and I love being able to spend some quiet time with my thoughts--but having a training schedule and not having a reason for running more than my comfortable 10 mile that was for me, made me begin to fall out of love with it. I have been dreading putting on my running shoes lately, and honestly, I don't care if I ever run a marathon in my lifetime.

Don't get me wrong--I think running a marathon is an amazing achievement, and props to you if you have or are planning to, I just don't think that it's for me at this point in my lifetime.

I love running--And I don't need to prove that I'm a runner to anyone else. I believe that I am, and running a marathon or not, is NOT going to change that.

Claire

xx